Boredom..
So, I'm pretty bored right now, hence my time to write in this blog. I might perhaps play some WoW..gotta get Embrya to 70 at some point so I can work some more on my low level characters.
I've been on facebook a lot the past few day ( www.facebook.com ) you should join! It's a good time waster, you can blog, you meet new friends, find old friends...pretty nifty!
As far as today's events go...it was a pretty boring day. I'm tired of in class training, though as Alex puts it "I wish I was getting paid that much to sit on my ass doing nothing!" lol, and I suppose he does have a point! I'd much rather be doing the job though. Oh well, I know for a fact that I will miss the class setting as soon as I'm put out on the floor! Eegads. Only one more week!!! =\
Hah, far as customer service goes since I'm so experienced with it! Some r-tard at another bank cashed a post-dated cheque...it was post-dated for TODAY which is my pay day seeing as how I definitely wouldn't have enough to cover the 3 cheques needing to be cashed before that time. Well, they cashed it and I was damn lucky I had overdraft otherwise it would have been an NSF cheque. I did however get charged a NSF fee of $5 which was basically how much I was short of the cheque. Now, does that REALLY make any sense to you? I was already short the money so you're going to put me MORE into the negatives by charging me. Good job TD! So I called in because I've been irritable lately and I was pissed off. I was polite on the phone as I usually am because it's not the reps fault! So she said she changed it etc etc etc. and I asked when it would take effect ONLINE "Oh, it's in your account RIGHT now ma'am, don't worry! I've fixed it all for you". Excellent right! Wrong...I go back online and check my account...who'd have thunk it, the charges have NOT been reversed. GAH. So I'm going to give it until Monday at which time I will be calling back in because I want my charges reversed. It's not my fault some idiot at the RBC bank cashed my post-dated TD cheque now is it? lol, NO ITS NOT! Normally I wouldn't give a rats ass, but this is a post-dated cheque, I even checked the online cheque viewer to ensure that I wrote it out correctly and guess what...I DID! Not my error yet I am being penalized for it. GAH The world is a cruel cruel place.
Just not having a good time these past couple of days now am I. Yesterday got in a fight with Alex and usually he's quite persistent with me when I'm upset and will even just hold me until I calm down but not this time. I was crying as one would when they were extremely upset and he barely tried to find out why...he acted as if nothing had happened and nothing was wrong. So I was really f'd up, bawling and at some points hyperventilating beyond my control and what does he do, gets up, takes out his contacts and goes to SLEEP! W T F! It's only 10pm and he of all people is going to bed? He complains about going to bed at 11:30pm for christ sake. So that made me even more upset and he rolled over once after 10 minutes or so and hugged me, I moved my arm when he tried to nudge his head under it and put it around him...somehow he apparently got the impression I didn't really want him to hug me even though I MOVED MY ARM AROUND HIM! OK....sure. So he just rolls back over and goes to sleep as I am crying so hard that it's hard for someone not to hear me, I mean, I'm trying to be quiet about it, but I couldn't be. I got up THREE times to go to the bathroom and blow my nose, dry my tears and try to stop crying but I couldn't. So after I eventually calmed down after about 45 minutes, I rolled over and decided that I would have to go to Alex since I can not sleep when we're in a fight. I poked him until he rolled over and I tried to make up with him. This is how it usually goes down, I have to go to him, otherwise I get to go to sleep or rather not get to sleep because we're in a fight. I find it very disturbing that he can just go right to sleep like that when he can HEAR me fucking crying. I asked him if he was asleep and he told me he wasn't and he heard me crying but he didn't feel like trying anymore. =O OK... so we're only a little over a year and half into our relationship and you're already giving up on me. HOLY SHIT! Thanks a lot.
I would have thought that by this time Alex would understand me and my crazy quirks. Severe depression runs in my dad's side of the family, they've even had a suicide I'm pretty sure, and my dad was on anti-depressants for a while! I have even EXPLAINED things to Alex when he hasn't understood, told him exactly what he has to do in those situations. Honestly, all I want or need when I'm crying is a BIG hug. I have never physically pushed him away when he's come to give me a hug when I'm crying because I've never been so totally mad and disgusted with him that I couldn't touch him or look at him. He used to go get me a kleenex and dry my tears away and give me my own time to tell him what was wrong, but no, now he just gives the fuck up and makes ME feel like a pile of unloved shit...like there is something wrong with me. All I really have to say about that is...thank you so much! You're SO lucky I threw out the note I wrote to you saying how much I hated you for going to sleep when I was bawling my freaking eyes out. ARGH. I honestly will never understand men, most especially him. He's so different from one day to the next. We used to be on the same page all the time, now we seem to be on our own different paths. Not saying paths to break-up or anything, just different ideals, different goals, different realities!
Yes, I have a lot of doubt in Alex. I have a lot of doubt in men in general so no matter what guy I was in a relationship with, I would always have some doubt. But, I shall say this...give me a reason NOT to doubt you. Exceed my low expectations of you. If I have doubts about you then I must not expect a whole lot out of you...so it's not like you'll have to do that much to impress me. All I ask is that he THINK. To be honestly honest, I think he's taking me for granted. Completely for granted. There was one point where I wanted to tell him to get out of my bed, out of my house and go home and stay there until you figure out what you actually want! I'm tired of the frustrations of him changing his mind all the time. I'm glad he's finally gotten to that point where he isn't pulling the whole age bullshit anymore. Because that is honest crap! Yes, I understand you are young, you feel confused and unsure, but you're an "adult" now and it's time to take on some responsibility! All I want are the little things...there aren't even big things to look forward to from him. I appreciate the little things, and just like little problems, they all add up to something big! I guess the way it goes for guys is they try to impress the girl in the first few months until they're comfortable, they get in your pants, and then what does it really matter? They've got you hooked so all they have to do is run out and by a $5 bouquet now and then to keep you happy. HAHAHA...
Sorry to be so general...I'm not pointing fingers really, and I know not ALL men are like that. There are some men out there who will do anything for their lady, and they get stuck with the women who don't notice or take full advantage of them. Then you have the women who will do anything for their man and they get stuck with the men that they have to do all the work to keep the relationship alive; they get nothing in return from him.
All I have to say in closing (before I ramble on more and say something even more stupid) is that relationships are give and take...if one person is doing all the giving and the other doing all the taking, that is not an even balance. You both need to give AND take to keep the relationship healthy and alive, otherwise, it won't last for very long. You each need to appreciate the other and show them that. It doesn't cost any money to write him/her a little note and leave it on your pillow in the morning for them to read...or make them breakfast in bed...or call them to just say you care...send them an e-mail even if you live together. There are little things that will brighten there day. Surprise them with something!
It's all about balance...
I've been on facebook a lot the past few day ( www.facebook.com ) you should join! It's a good time waster, you can blog, you meet new friends, find old friends...pretty nifty!
As far as today's events go...it was a pretty boring day. I'm tired of in class training, though as Alex puts it "I wish I was getting paid that much to sit on my ass doing nothing!" lol, and I suppose he does have a point! I'd much rather be doing the job though. Oh well, I know for a fact that I will miss the class setting as soon as I'm put out on the floor! Eegads. Only one more week!!! =\
Hah, far as customer service goes since I'm so experienced with it! Some r-tard at another bank cashed a post-dated cheque...it was post-dated for TODAY which is my pay day seeing as how I definitely wouldn't have enough to cover the 3 cheques needing to be cashed before that time. Well, they cashed it and I was damn lucky I had overdraft otherwise it would have been an NSF cheque. I did however get charged a NSF fee of $5 which was basically how much I was short of the cheque. Now, does that REALLY make any sense to you? I was already short the money so you're going to put me MORE into the negatives by charging me. Good job TD! So I called in because I've been irritable lately and I was pissed off. I was polite on the phone as I usually am because it's not the reps fault! So she said she changed it etc etc etc. and I asked when it would take effect ONLINE "Oh, it's in your account RIGHT now ma'am, don't worry! I've fixed it all for you". Excellent right! Wrong...I go back online and check my account...who'd have thunk it, the charges have NOT been reversed. GAH. So I'm going to give it until Monday at which time I will be calling back in because I want my charges reversed. It's not my fault some idiot at the RBC bank cashed my post-dated TD cheque now is it? lol, NO ITS NOT! Normally I wouldn't give a rats ass, but this is a post-dated cheque, I even checked the online cheque viewer to ensure that I wrote it out correctly and guess what...I DID! Not my error yet I am being penalized for it. GAH The world is a cruel cruel place.
Just not having a good time these past couple of days now am I. Yesterday got in a fight with Alex and usually he's quite persistent with me when I'm upset and will even just hold me until I calm down but not this time. I was crying as one would when they were extremely upset and he barely tried to find out why...he acted as if nothing had happened and nothing was wrong. So I was really f'd up, bawling and at some points hyperventilating beyond my control and what does he do, gets up, takes out his contacts and goes to SLEEP! W T F! It's only 10pm and he of all people is going to bed? He complains about going to bed at 11:30pm for christ sake. So that made me even more upset and he rolled over once after 10 minutes or so and hugged me, I moved my arm when he tried to nudge his head under it and put it around him...somehow he apparently got the impression I didn't really want him to hug me even though I MOVED MY ARM AROUND HIM! OK....sure. So he just rolls back over and goes to sleep as I am crying so hard that it's hard for someone not to hear me, I mean, I'm trying to be quiet about it, but I couldn't be. I got up THREE times to go to the bathroom and blow my nose, dry my tears and try to stop crying but I couldn't. So after I eventually calmed down after about 45 minutes, I rolled over and decided that I would have to go to Alex since I can not sleep when we're in a fight. I poked him until he rolled over and I tried to make up with him. This is how it usually goes down, I have to go to him, otherwise I get to go to sleep or rather not get to sleep because we're in a fight. I find it very disturbing that he can just go right to sleep like that when he can HEAR me fucking crying. I asked him if he was asleep and he told me he wasn't and he heard me crying but he didn't feel like trying anymore. =O OK... so we're only a little over a year and half into our relationship and you're already giving up on me. HOLY SHIT! Thanks a lot.
I would have thought that by this time Alex would understand me and my crazy quirks. Severe depression runs in my dad's side of the family, they've even had a suicide I'm pretty sure, and my dad was on anti-depressants for a while! I have even EXPLAINED things to Alex when he hasn't understood, told him exactly what he has to do in those situations. Honestly, all I want or need when I'm crying is a BIG hug. I have never physically pushed him away when he's come to give me a hug when I'm crying because I've never been so totally mad and disgusted with him that I couldn't touch him or look at him. He used to go get me a kleenex and dry my tears away and give me my own time to tell him what was wrong, but no, now he just gives the fuck up and makes ME feel like a pile of unloved shit...like there is something wrong with me. All I really have to say about that is...thank you so much! You're SO lucky I threw out the note I wrote to you saying how much I hated you for going to sleep when I was bawling my freaking eyes out. ARGH. I honestly will never understand men, most especially him. He's so different from one day to the next. We used to be on the same page all the time, now we seem to be on our own different paths. Not saying paths to break-up or anything, just different ideals, different goals, different realities!
Yes, I have a lot of doubt in Alex. I have a lot of doubt in men in general so no matter what guy I was in a relationship with, I would always have some doubt. But, I shall say this...give me a reason NOT to doubt you. Exceed my low expectations of you. If I have doubts about you then I must not expect a whole lot out of you...so it's not like you'll have to do that much to impress me. All I ask is that he THINK. To be honestly honest, I think he's taking me for granted. Completely for granted. There was one point where I wanted to tell him to get out of my bed, out of my house and go home and stay there until you figure out what you actually want! I'm tired of the frustrations of him changing his mind all the time. I'm glad he's finally gotten to that point where he isn't pulling the whole age bullshit anymore. Because that is honest crap! Yes, I understand you are young, you feel confused and unsure, but you're an "adult" now and it's time to take on some responsibility! All I want are the little things...there aren't even big things to look forward to from him. I appreciate the little things, and just like little problems, they all add up to something big! I guess the way it goes for guys is they try to impress the girl in the first few months until they're comfortable, they get in your pants, and then what does it really matter? They've got you hooked so all they have to do is run out and by a $5 bouquet now and then to keep you happy. HAHAHA...
Sorry to be so general...I'm not pointing fingers really, and I know not ALL men are like that. There are some men out there who will do anything for their lady, and they get stuck with the women who don't notice or take full advantage of them. Then you have the women who will do anything for their man and they get stuck with the men that they have to do all the work to keep the relationship alive; they get nothing in return from him.
All I have to say in closing (before I ramble on more and say something even more stupid) is that relationships are give and take...if one person is doing all the giving and the other doing all the taking, that is not an even balance. You both need to give AND take to keep the relationship healthy and alive, otherwise, it won't last for very long. You each need to appreciate the other and show them that. It doesn't cost any money to write him/her a little note and leave it on your pillow in the morning for them to read...or make them breakfast in bed...or call them to just say you care...send them an e-mail even if you live together. There are little things that will brighten there day. Surprise them with something!
It's all about balance...
posted by Sarah Haid at
6:02:00 p.m.
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